At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
