I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
