I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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