yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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