How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
