There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
