I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
it's great music for shaving your balls
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
