You're a womanizer and a bitch.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
