Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
