I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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