i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
