Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
