i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
