I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
