How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
