why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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