a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
