My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
