sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
