are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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