Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
