I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
