just come out here and I will go home with you...
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
