but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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