I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
