$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
