It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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