I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
