I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
