Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
