it was like fucking gandolphs beard
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
