i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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