First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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