I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
