We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
