I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
