i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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