i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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