i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
