ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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