I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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