EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
