True but thats because hes a fetus.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just blew my weed a kiss
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
