My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
