You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
