I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Randomize
