I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
