The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
