well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
