nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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