the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
